A Really Bad Imitation of Reality: Update From Last Year

Hey Readers! It's been a year and a half since my last post. I know, I'm the totes worst blogger, friend, and human being in the history of the internets! Well, I'm back to redeem myself with a new blog post to update you strangers with the goings on with my life, and to check off a few things I wrote for my goals last year.

Here's my progress on my goals so far. Right now I'm working on getting an internship to work in Congressman Chaffetz' office. I have a lot of friends who have worked for him and they all say that he's great. I just interviewed to work in the Provo and the Washington DC office last week, so I'm crossing my fingers that I get one of those positions.

I still have yet to learn how to karate chop badgers. I have recently made a new friend who has serious nun-chuck skills. I'm hoping that he will teach me his ninja ways. I will update you readers later on my progress.

Last year, I really got into Muse after listening to every song they have ever written! I still have a massive crush on Matthew Bellamy, but a small piece of what's left of my sanity finally hit me one day and made me realize my goal to become Mrs. Matthew Bellamy will never become a reality. I cried into my pillow for several hours (more like several minutes... maybe) and cursed whatever sanity forced me to come to the realization that WHAT IF MATTHEW BELLAMY???? is no longer a good reason to go on living. I'll just scratch that one off the list.

I have so far been successful with my goal to not get crushed by mobs of people, not getting killed (I hope that one is obvious to you readers), raped, or pepper sprayed in my journeys. I have overcome my addiction to gjetost by adopting a vegan diet. Yes, I am now a vegan! I do have trouble staying away from non-veganly chocolate though. I was successful for a few months, until one day the red devil inside my belly reared its ugly head and demanded that I eat chocolate. I am still struggling to recover. I am so addicted to chocolate right now that I think there should be a CA (Chocoholics Anonymous) group. Hello, I'm Melanie, and I'm a chocoholic.

I'm still working on building my complete hipster wardrobe. I have acquired a flannel shirt. I need more though. I will update you on my progress later.

Now that I'm a vegan, I can cross becoming a sushi master chef off my list.

I have failed to grow at least another two inches. I fear that I am doomed to my short stature forever.
I have decided that being normal is highly overrated and that I should embrace my inner weirdo, because no matter how hard I try to be normal, people seem to deem me as unfit to walk amongst "normal" people. So, I'm just going to let my inner freak sing louder than all of the other freaks in the world. Then I shall conquer them with my legions of kittens and become their queen! Muahahahaha!

Last summer I had the exciting experience of fulfilling my lifelong dream of going to China. On my journey, I got to see a lot of really cool things.

I got to see Shanghai.

I got to mingle with the locals and see a lot of interesting sites.

Some folks playing music at the park in Chuxiong.

Shanghai Yuyuan Garden

Freaky image at the Yuyuan Garden. I thought this was some poor sucker that was beheaded and hung to be made an example for people who rebelled against the authorities.

I even got to climb the Great Wall!!!